Fast Zombies vs. Slow Zombies - Which is More Fun?

There are some huge debates on the internet on whether it’s possible for a zombie to run and/or sprint. Most zombie purists believe there’s no possible way a zombie could run. Why? Because their bodies are not only decomposing, but are also going through rigor mortis (which makes their bodies “stiff and difficult to move or manipulate” Link). Other zombie fans like the idea of a challenging zombie apocalypse – fast zombies. Most zombie fans don’t really give a damn.

Now, I'm not here to discuss which zombie speed is accurate or even possible because I would then have to explain how zombies are possible in the first place, and we really don’t want to get into that (there are just so many possibilities!).

Instead I'm going to discuss which scenario is most fun! 

Slow zombies are fun for one very important (yet debatable) reason – it creates a REAL apocalyptic situation, or at least in my opinion it does. Living in a slow zombie apocalyptic world allows you to stop, smell the coffee, and rebuild. Instead of dealing with an apocalyptic situation where life on earth probably won’t last more than a few days, a slow zombie apocalypse allows for a “post”-apocalyptic situation to arise. We could literally live in a slow zombie world for decades because unlike fast zombies, slow zombies are slower at killing us. This allows us to build camps, fortresses, and even cities dedicated to our survival. There’s no telling what kind of things we could do in these cities (create our own governments, reestablish hedonism, form a zombie Olympics [not sprinting allowed]).  

Now this is not with out discussion. If slow zombies are too slow to kill is, what’s stopping us from killing them all? In my observation, the only way a slow zombie apocalypse could last a long time is if the virus is air borne or water borne, or if we humans are just too stupid and allow slow zombies to kill us all. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot a stupid people out there, but not nearly enough to allow a slow zombie apocalypse to last for decades.

Now lets move on to fast zombies! Fast zombies were made popular my Zack Snyder’s remake of George A. Romero’s 1978 Dawn of Dead. Snyder’s film of the same name featured zombies that ran, sprinted, and seemed to be unphased by rigor mortis or decomposition. A fast zombie apocalypse is most fun in video games, but how fun exactly are they in a real life situation? Not fun at all I’ll say! Why you ask? Because how the hell are we suppose to survive with Olympic running zombies chasing after us? The second you leave your fortified mall to scavenge for food and water you won’t get half a foot without your body being ripped in three by a fast zombie. My tip in this situation? Pre-stuff your bug-out-bag with every kind of seed, hold out near a fenced in area full of dirt, and learn rain dancing because we all know it never rains during a zombie apocalypse.

That’s my take on which zombie apocalypse is most fun. Yeah it’s kind of short, but then again this is the internet and most readers’ attention spans are no longer than half a joint on my pinky finger. Also, because this is the internet, you should leave your comments! According to you, the real zombie experts, which zombie scenario is most fun?